Women Hoo Embarrass Women

MADOFF SECRETARY LIVES MIGHTY WELL

So far, the only people in legal trouble in the Madoff scheme are Bernie and his accountant.

Fox 5 reports that it tracked down the woman who was Bernie's secretary for four decades. Sittin right there next to him all those years in that big ole lipstick building.

Annette Bongiorno is the name.

Annette has a million dollar home in Boca, Florida. In a gated community. (Me and my graduate degree enjoy the privacy split rail provides...)  When Annette is up north, its all about her two and a half million dollar home on Long Island.

Her three car garage provides comfort for two - why have one - 2007 Mercedes-Benzes. And a 2005 Bentley.

Other sources of real cash you ask? I dunno. But Fox 5 says Annette's husband is a former NY City worker out on permanent disability. And a relative of Annette's still lives in the blue collar community home she and Annette grew up in, together. 

I coulda been a secretary, woulda been a secretary, shoulda been a secretary...

Fox 5 makes clear that Annette has not been charged with any crime and that it has no direct evidence she committed any crime or that she knew about the Ponzi scheme. Fox 5 also says: "Sources close to the investigation say two of Bongiorno's assistants are describing how they were instructed to research daily share prices for blue-chip stocks from the previous month, then generate bogus trading tickets. Those tickets ensured customer statements looked legitimate with current and accurate stock numbers."

Full story here.

NADYA SULEMAN: SHOOT, I FORGOT HUMANS NEED MONEY

Yesterday, Octo-sicko told a Radaronline cameraman/interviewer it is sort of just dawning on her, like now, that if she had not stumbled into some sources of dough as she has, she would have had to support her kids with money from us, via the government. And, now that she actually thinks about it, she would have had to work lots and lots of hours, she realizes. Hmmm. I hear you Nadya. Everytime I go poppin' a half a dozen or so people, it dawns on me later that, shoot, these people are gonna need stuff and man, I'm on the hook for buyin' it. Hate when that happens.

OCTO-SICKO MOM SULEMAN FIRES FREE NANNIES

Octo-sicko mom Nadya Suleman's lawyer confirmed to the AP that Octo-sicko fired Angels in Waiting, the non-profit group who stepped up to help Suleman with her second litter.

Her lawyer said Suleman had confrontations with the nurses and things got bad Sunday when Suleman came to believe that the Angels in Waiting founder was allegedly filing a report against her with child welfare officials.

Her lawyer reported that "Nadya felt that she was being judged wrongfully and she didn't need it. All it did was make a difficult situation worse."

Makes perfect sense. This is, after all, all about Nadya and how she is being viewed. So you know hey, begone damn nannies. Full story here.

 

MARIE DOUGLAS-DAVID: WANDERING OFF THE RESERVATION?

In the saga playing out in court between Marie Douglas-David, 36, and her 67 year old spouse, from whom she is seeking get more than the $43 million a post-nup would provide her, we learn that Marie's husband hired a private detective to follow Douglas-David while she was in Stockholm for at least two weeks in 2004. This would have been two years into her marriage. The AP also reports that her husband, out side of court, said he believed his wife was not being very wife-y. Or rather, being all wife-y with someone else...

"I had reason to suspect that she was off the reservation early in the marriage," he told reporters.

THE COERCION OF MARIE DOUGLAS-DAVID

Marie Douglas, 36, became Marie Douglas-David in 2002 when she said "I Do" to a 67-year old are-kidding-me-rich-man in 2002.

Between 2004 and 2008, there were five different divorce filings. (question to self: is this the Marriage Sanctity Californians are all flippy about preserving for heterosexuals?)

Marie wants a judge to declare void the post-nup she signed in 2005 that entitles her to $43 million. She wants way more. (note to self: when you marry a really really really rich man, do not sign away your rights to his money during the marriage if the guy keeps filing divorce papers)

Besides, she says, it should be void because she was coerced into signing away her rights to way more by her bully-husband who preyed on her fears of being unwed and childless (note to self: if you ever have a fear of being unwed, don't marry a man who is certain to die decades ahead of you, but for your premature death)

Anyway, Marie says the love of her life repeatedly filed divorce papers and then changed his mind. This was all a plan to get her to sign a post-nuptial agreement that capped her take home pay to $43 million.

He would toy with her by "surprising" her with divorce papers, she claims, and then carrying on as if he had not. Takes two, sweetie. Testimony showed he was even generous with during these breakdowns in the marriage. 

Her husband acknowledged he did not let her know when he was planning to file for divorce or about arrangements for others comfort her when the papers were served. (note to self: ask your husband to give you a polite heads up on any court papers he plans to file that include your name)

Each time, he would resume a traditional marital relationship by: 

Living together.  (note to self: when your husband files for divorce, move into one of your four homes that he is not then living in; if he asks you to move back in with him, say no) 

Giving gifts. He bought her a $23,000 pocketbook, a $48,000 string of pearls, a $13,500 fur coat. (note to self: when your husband tries to give you presents after filing for divorce, take them; if you ever need dough to support your $53,000 weekly expenses, put your $23,000 pocket book and $48,000 necklace on ebay)

Taking trips. They took $200,000 vacation on a private yacht and trips to Mustique, Paris and Germany, between divorce filings. (note to self: if your husband files for divorce, don't go to Paris with him; tell him to go to Germany while you go to Paris)

And even having sex with her. (note to self: when you get served divorce papers, keep your clothes on when you talk to the guy who served them on you)

MARIE DOUGLAS-DAVID'S PAYDAY

A young woman, Marie Douglas-David, was an employed professional until she married an incredibly wealthy man 30 years her senior, George David, in 2002.  She quit her job to assume the position of Mrs. Douglas-David. Then shock of all shocks, her marriage to her uber super-sugary daddy started getting real messy shortly after the honeymoon in 2004, according to court papers.

They signed a post-nuptial agreement in 2005 that promised Douglas-David $43 million if ever one of them said "nevermind" to their mutual commitment to be life partners.

Douglas-David wants that agreement voided. She says her husband bullied her into it. This woman, who had been an investment banker, says her daddy, I mean husband, coerced her to sign it by preying on her fears of being divorced and childless. So, the $43 million she signed up for should be tossed aside.

She deserves, and hey needs, $100 million in cash and stock. And - that's right and -  $130,000 a month - that's right a month - in alimony.

The post nup you see, is reportedly tied to her daddy's, I mean husband's, former company's stock. As all stock has taken a dive, so has Douglas-David's payout for having boinked this man for several years running.

The problem, according to her, is that it is expensive to be her. She needs more than that $43 million.

Douglas-David's court papers say she has more than $53,800 in weekly expenses - that's right weekly.  She has a Park Avenue apartment and three residences in Sweden to keep up after all. And then weekly, she needs $700 for limousine service, $4,500 for clothes, $1,000 for hair and skin treatments, $1,500 for restaurants and entertainment, and $8,000 for travel, $2,209 for a personal assistant and $600 for flowers.

The postnup also gave her some other stuff: a 4-carat, $255,000 earrings, a $97,000 Mercedes-Benz, some lamps, a chandelier and a Christo drawing, whatever the heck that is.

Here's hoping the blond, well-mannered, tastefully dressed Ashley Duprey isn't forced to slip into a life where she can only spend $1,000 a month on her hair.

RUTH MADOFF'S SPOONS & BERNIE'S MONEY

Well, we knew Ruth has a lot of stuff. Some comfy homes smattered across the globe, some sailing vessels and a $39,000 piano upon which to display her fresh flowers. And, don't forget the $200 mittens she tried to send to relatives after Bernie fessed up.

Add to that another asset prosecutors intend to try to capture: a $65,000 silverware set.

Eating off forks that cost more than the average American earns in a year's time and then claiming, as Bernie did, that what drove him to scheme was a desire to meet "client expectations" in a down market is a tough swallow. 

Prosecutors will also go after four cars. Bernie and Ruth had four cars, of course. A BMW, two Mercedes, rumor has it, a Volkswagon.

When Ruth posted her husband's bond, she told prosecutors she had her own money that she inherited from her now dead parents. Not. Records show that the max she would have inherited from them was a bit over $1 million dollars after her father died.

Not possessing a million dollars myself, I don't know precisely how pricey my spoons would be if I had a million and needed to buy some new ones. Sorta thinkin' that I wouldn't spend nearing 10% of my net worth on them. Ruth needs to get busy spinning a new story for herself.

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL WANNA-BEs FOILED

Reports are that wanna-be models lined up outside an audition for America's Next Top Model broke out into chaos when an over heated car went boom and a few antsy folks yelled something about a bomb. Hospitalization and arrests for inciting a riot followed.

Here is what the New York Daily News reported happened in advance of the thing that went boom and freaked the skinny girls.

The wanna be models were told if they got out of line, that was it. Dream foiled. So, a lady from the Bronx reports she had to "pee in a cup". Thanks for sharing. Likely her neighbors appreciated the thoughtfulness associated with using a cup compared to her other options.

Cops came and put barricades along the street. A handful of women then fainted upon being pressed up against a wall by the masses of young women in high heels. Some girls were accompanied by boys. Two of the boys didn't care for each other, and the verbal jabs turned physical. One of them threatened to return with a gun when the cops separated them. That's when the smoking car pulled up, the barricade fell down and wave of wanna be models ran for their lives, through, over and by each other. Yada, yada, yada.

The really regrettable part of the day was not fainting ladies, not men fighting and threatening to use weapons to straighten things and people out, not humans trampling humans and not even pee right there on the street. It was, according to the ladies, that after the stampede, no more girls were allowed to audition. Wealth and stardom for the masses, foiled. 

Full story here.

RUTH AND BERNIE'S STUFF

More detail on what Bernie, crook, and Ruth, cookbook author, had stashed away whilst lots of the people they duped had to start selling their homes to make ends meet:

Four homes. Manhattan, Montauk (where NY's well off summer; for really wealthy people, "summer" is a verb), Palm Beach, and the French Riviera.

$17 million in cash. Just in case.

$7 million yacht in France. Name: The Bull

$2.2 million "fishing boat" in Florida. Name: The Bull. Lesson: no matter your continent, it helps to signal to investors you are one of those.

$320,000 dinky boat in Montauk. Name: Sitting Bull. (Because at that price, you probably don't want to be seen floating around in it. Better to let it Sit.)

Half share in a $12 million jet. Didn't help get Bernie the heck out of town. Name: Not The Bull.

$39,000 piano. Hey, sometimes, you need a place to place your fresh flowers. Tables get old.

$2.6 million in jewelry. It was only proper for Ruth to be well adorned at book signings for her $39.99 cookbook. Imagine if she showed up in the relatively affordable gold stuff sitting out there on the counter for all to touch at Macy's?

HUFFINGTON POST: CONTEMPLATING HAIR

Huffington Post has been directing us to assess famous peoples' changing hair styles over the decades. Always women. Hillary is the latest. I am increasingly finding it to be mean thing to do. Hair that was fabo in the 70's looks dumb today. No matter who it is. We get it.
Display Arianna and the senior staff this way or call it enough already.