A break from the usual Whew! for an Easter moment.
Not that I need a moment to brunch with people I like. Or with people who are related to me one way or another. Or to munch on a chocolate Bunny.
I need a moment to spew about the nonsensical nature of Easter. And its trappings.
I think I am supposed to get Easter, having spent at least my earliest years under the daily tutelage of Sister Mary Mary. I didn't bail out of her domain early enough to be able to claim it has all washed away like my gray. But I still don't get it.
So for me, Easter Sunday is a day to spread mulch.
It's like this. The underpinnings of Easter connect to a religious figure. (I contend she was a black woman, who looks and sounds exactly like Della Reese. But let's not go there. Lots of people buy the bearded middle-aged white man image. That's ok. None of us was there to meet him or her so whatever image works for you is perfectly peachy and has an equal shot at being right.) And the religious figure connects to a life and death-style monumental event. Heavy stuff this Easter is.
And yet, Easter is all about Bunnies. And Chocolate. Chocolate? And Chocolate Bunnies. Why did the cocoa bean become an Easter-y staple?
And Eggs. Chocolate and Real, provided the Real ones are artificially colored. What do green and blue Eggs have to do with anything at all and who sold us on the idea of dunking boiled Eggs in colored water, anyway? And good god. If you had to pick one food product, other than say a slab of raw meat, not to hide for fear of not finding again, it would be the Egg. Yet hide them we do. If hiding things helps make Easter Easter, I say hide the Easter Chocolate.
Now back to the Bunny. I never met a Bunny that laid an egg. Not one. So I never got the connection. If the Easter Bunny was the Easter Chicken, the Egg-centric nature of the day could make good sense to me. Real or Chocolate.
And how about that Easter Bonnet. Is there a reason we connect Amish-like attire to Easter that Sister Mary Mary didn't care to share with the 4th grade? Sometimes, the Chocolate Bunnies wear a Chocolate Bonnet. Raise your hand if you ever saw a real Bunny in a Bonnet. Thought so.
Then there is the matter of the Easter Basket. Never saw a Bunny that carried a basket. Not once. So what's that all about? Bunnies don't even have the kind of hand-paws that could effectively carry a basket. Hello.
And who said Ham should be the meat de jour of Easter Sunday? Maybe it was only in my house but Easter Hams are a thing. Ham, of course, is a pig part. Easter is all about Bunnies. But, we shove the Bunny right off the table when it comes to locking in the traditional Easter Sunday menu. Another thing I don't get.
My true love reminds me Easter is also all about Peeps. But, I enjoy that pure unadulterated sugar hit so let's leave poor Peeps to their one damn day.
It is, in the end, a day to mulch. Whether permitting. Until it all makes more sense.
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