I have a relatively new perspective on Mothers' Day.
Heretofore, meaning most of my life, I viewed Mothers' Day through the lens of my own mother.
Who doesn't?
So for me, Mothers' Day was thinking about a whiz bang-devoted-get-it-done-deal-with-stuff-whatever-it-may-be-these-are-my-kids-dammit kinda person. So when life allowed her to be about PTA, there she was. When life required she deal with hard issues that her kids fed up to her, there she was. When she found herself unexpectedly a sole head of household with bills to pay, there she was.
A sister of mine is the same. When life allows PTA to be a focus, there she is making a town halfway across the US from her family feel incredibly home-towny and root-filled for her kids. When she sees issues in her kids that it might be easier to chalk up to whatever parents chalk things up to - the boys-will-be-boys-thats-just-the-way-he-is crap that make parents feel better about themselves but doesn't address stuff - she gets really aggressive about sorting it out and making sure they get what they need. (You go girl.)
These are the women for whom Mothers' Day was made.
Thanks, flowers, massages, Hallmarks and bubble baths to them.
As an older daughter, my own mother is no longer the only mother-lens available to me. So I think differently about Mothers' Day today than I did in decades past.
I think about the mothers I have known who have pumped out more than one kid and then not raised them to be independent, emotionally stable adults. About mothers who saw problems, educational and behaviorial, and did nothing at all. Because, well you know well, the kid was tough and well you know, issues are hard and well, that's just the way the kid is and you know, they say some kids grow out of this and that and so, you know.... About mothers whose lives were unexpectedly turned upside down and who sat on their booties, angry, raising angry kids. About mothers who think the obligations of mothering are more or less done by the time the kids need pay-for-it education. (It don't end when they stop smellin' sweet....)
So today, as I look back at fabulous moms and at moms for whom early tube tying was invented, I sorta get incensed at the idea of all of them be honored in the same way on the same day. It so diminishes the hit-it-out-of-the-ball-park moms.
To them, Happy Day, Happy Year, Eternal Gratitude. You deserve your very own day.
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